Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

by | 10 Jun 2020

The Oxford comma: a unit of punctuation so contentious, Vampire Weekend wrote a song about it. More precisely, they wrote a song about a pretentious person who put more value in the correct use of English that its meaning. So why should we give a fuck about using the Oxford comma when writing? Because sometimes it really does matter.

For those unfamiliar with the term, the Oxford comma – also known as the serial comma – as defined in Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style, is used:

“In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction”, where it should be placed, “after each term except the last.”

Its purpose is to make clear the distinction between the terms.

For example,

The colours of Rastafarianism are red, gold, and green.
I like to drink vodka, lime, and soda.
She woke, rolled over, and checked her phone.

Some people, especially those who believe in modernising the English language, are in favour of doing away with the Oxford comma altogether. One argument is that it’s unnecessary and tends to make sentences look cluttered, and also that it’s a signifier of prestige, and therefore snobbishness.

What would happen if we omitted the Oxford comma from these sentences? Let’s see.

The colours of Rastafarianism are red, gold and green.
I like to drink vodka, lime and soda.
She woke, rolled over and checked her phone.

Nothing too disastrous it seems. The meaning of each sentence has not been changed, and perhaps they even flow a little smoother without the Oxford comma. But consider the same thing with this sentence:

The king, a fool, and a peasant.
The king, a fool and a peasant.

This creates two very different meanings, and accidentally using the wrong one could land you in hot water. So should we always use the Oxford comma, just to be safe, or can we really do without it completely?

I would suggest a third option; use it when necessary. A good writer should be able to look at a sentence and tell whether it requires the Oxford comma or not. If you’re in doubt, try reading it aloud, with and without the comma. If the meaning is significantly changed by omitting it, and that isn’t what you intended, best to include it. Otherwise, if you think it helps the sentence to flow better, feel free to lose it.

Either way, we should give a fuck.